Monday, November 3, 2008

Five Stages of (an Inner Editor's) Grief

1. Denial and Isolation
You didn't mean to cut me off and continue writing. Did you? It's not possible. I can't believe you don't need me. I'll just wait here until you're ready. Did you say something? No? Oh, that's okay. I'll wait.

2. Anger
Unbelievable! That wanna-be author covered the monitor. With a towel. COVERED IT! How can she let all of those glaring mistakes go by without fixing them???? Just wait. She'll come back crawling on her knees for my help. I'm going to make her grovel. You wait and see. She can't live without me. 

3. Bargaining
Um, hi. It's me. I thought maybe we could negotiate a little give and take in this relationship. You know, work things out? Do you think that if I back off for a while you'd let me fix that little mistake on page 2, and maybe page 4 as well? Page 5 isn't too bad, and ... What? Oh. I see. Yeah, I... I understand. 

4. Depression
How am I? I'm fine, I guess. No. I don't have anything to say. No, I know you don't need my help. Go on. (sniff) I'll be fine. (sniff)

5. Acceptance
Hey, how's the manuscript going? Finished? That's great. Me? I'd love to. Just give me a call sometime when you need me. Tomorrow? Excellent!

BTW: My personal IE is in stage one...
End of Day Nano Count: 2774


Brianna Caplan Sayres said...

Loved this post! It's adorable!
Good luck making it to Stage 5!

Rena said...

ROTFLMHO! Poor Inner Editor. So alone. So abused.

C.R. Evers said...

LOL! This is great!

I hope your IE will move onto acceptance soon.

Too funny! :0D

Angela said...

Haha--Hilarious!! Way to tell that IE how it is!!

Carrie Harris said...

HAH! Did you really cover the monitor with a towel? Because that's pure genius.

Nora MacFarlane said...

I really did put a towel over the monitor until I realized it was beginning to overheat. I'm going to switch to a pillowslip. I wish I could take credit for the idea, but Brenda is the one who suggested it in one of my other posts. Yeah, Brenda!

Loretta said...

Funny! I hadn't heard about the Nanowrimo, it sounds cool. Maybe I'll participate next year. I guess it's too late for this year...

sruble said...

Ha! Thanks for the funny look at the other side of NaNoWriMo! My IE is trying to talk to me today, but I'm trying to ignore him.

Good luck with your novel!

Nora MacFarlane said...

Thanks, All!

Jacqui said...

Ha! I love this. My Inner Editor does not go down so easily, sadly. She's gagged and bound in the corner and she still manages to scream whenever I use an adverb.