Monday, November 16, 2009

Thoughts on Gross...

WARNING: THIS REALLY IS ABOUT GROSS!

You can't be an elementary school teacher and not have a high GTL (Gross Tolerance Level). The type of gross you deal with depends upon the grade level you teach. In my humble opinion, pre-school, kindergarten and primary teachers are saints. The level of gross they deal with each day is daunting. My classroom is right next to a Head Start pre-school room. Not only do those teachers get to wipe runny noses and brush toddler's teeth, they get to change diapers too. That's right. Pre-schoolers don't have to be potty trained to attend public school. Yuck.

First and second graders are all about holes and fingers. Fingers in their ears. Fingers in their noses. Fingers in their mouths. And they like to use their sticky fingers to poke the teacher to get their attention. Thank goodness they're cute. You can forgive a lot when cute is involved.

Gross takes on a whole new meaning once boys reach 3rd and 4th grade. Out-grossing one another becomes the goal. Recess can be quite an educational experience. If you notice a huddle of boys in fits of laughter in the corner of a playground, it's a good bet there's gas coming out one end or the other.

You haven't lived until you've been cooped up in a hot classroom with a group of 5th or 6th graders who just came in from gym or recess. The smell is unbelievable. You can try to talk to them about personal hygiene, but please know that you will lose them at the mere mention of the words "body odor." Uncontrollable laughter will ensue. You'll be lucky to get them to hear they must wash before they put on deodorant. It's a preventative, not a cover up... HAHAHAHAHAHAH...

Lots of people get tickled at gross. My mother-in-law would become incapacitated by silent, gut-wrenching giggles at the word fart. She would laugh so hard she couldn't breathe, and then she'd snort and start all over again. One Christmas someone, probably one of the sisters, got her The Book of Farts. She laughed so hard all day that her sides hurt by dinnertime. I miss that lady.

My mother would not laugh at the word fart. No. Instead, she would tilt her head and raise an eyebrow at you. She probably didn't dare laugh since it would only encourage my dad and brother to raise the gross ante. They're pretty good at that.

If you're wondering why in the world this topic came to mind, you can blame Lisa Yee and her facebook entry from yesterday. That's right. Lisa's facebook entry began: "Regarding snots and boogers, which ones are hard and which ones are soft?" So far 57 people have chimed in with an opinion. Thank you, Lisa, for some very vivid dreams last night.

I'm done with gross for now. Really, I am.

14 comments:

Kelly said...

Yes, my kids are big on gross. And it is encouraged by their father!! :)
And I have been known to giggle at potty talk myself...

WordWrangler said...

My sister and I bought the BOOGER book a long time ago. It was sooooooo funny! there was only one that made me cringe, and it was because of terribly foul language...not the foul humor. LOL!!

farts and boogers are funny.
it can't be helped.


I'll leave you with some booger wisdom:

You can pick your friends.
You can pick your nose.
but you can't wipe friends on the site of the couch.

Nora MacFarlane said...

@Kelly - it is hard not to laugh!

@WordWrangler - LOL! Thanks for the poem!

PJ Hoover said...

I know I should embrace gross, but it still gives me the willies :)

Nora MacFarlane said...

PJ - I have two 5th grade boys that, without fail, gross me out each day. I'm not sure they even know they're being gross. I've decided I need to keep a journal of their daily topics. There has to be a book in there somewhere.

Christina Farley said...

Boys can be gross! I have two of them!

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

Gross is funny, but sometimes I'm with you. Enough is enough.

Lisa Yee said...

Nora, honored to have inspired your dreams.

Nora MacFarlane said...

Lisa - LOL! It was a funny facebook thread!

PJ & Green Girl- Me too!

Christina - Just wait until they get bigger. Mine just turned 20. He's got the gross thing down pat!

adrienne said...

Glad I didn't have breakfast yet.
Of course, you DID warn me. I had to look. :D

Lilfix said...

I was a tomboy growing up, so I use to try and out gross my boy cousins all the time...I would rather be in a room of 'gross' boys than a room of girlie girls...grin...

Angela said...

Yes, what is it that happens when kids hit 12 - they stink so badly and they dont' even notice it.

I missed Lisa's snot post, thanks for linking to it!!

Rena said...

How funny!

Sharon Mayhew said...

Funny stuff! I taught elementary school for 17 years. You should teach third and fourth graders in the south in August. Ripe would be the approproate term.

Do you know how to make a whole room of third graders laugh? Say underwear. :)